Archive for the ‘Quotations’ Category
I never get sick of this
“Go home, Abe!” called out the sheriff. “Today’s not a good day for dyin’.”
“You killed my pappy,” said the youth, “and my pappy’s pappy. And his pappy’s pappy. And my brothers Jethro, Hank, Hoss, Red, Peregrine, Marsh, Junior, Dizzy, Luke, Peregrine, George an’ all the others. I’m callin’ you out, lawman.”
“You said Peregrine twice.”
“He wuz special.”
- Something Rotten, Jasper Fforde
Orientation
“You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it’s a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o’clock. Punch in late and they dock you.
Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you.
Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you!
6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck.
Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you!
This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you!”
– Mailroom guy, The Hudsucker Proxy
